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maldyeuthanasia

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(no subject) [Jan. 11th, 2006|01:52 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
Time started:
1:52 pm

First Name:
Michelle

Single or Taken:
Single

Sex:
Girl

Birthday:
July 9th, 1987

Siblings:
Elder Sister, Elder Brother

Eye color:
Brown?

Shoe size:
8-9

height:
5'6"

Innie or Outie:
Innie.

What are you wearing right now?
Pin strip pajama's

Righty or lefty:
Righty.

Can you make a dollar in change right now?
Yes


-------------------------------------------------------------
Relationships
-------------------------------------------------------------

Who are your closest friends:
(INI NO ORDER!) Trixie, derek, jamie, michelle, krissy... other people? I have no brain

Do you have a BF or GF?
no

Best place to go for a date:
someplace really comfortable... I'd say one of the ancient wonders but that'd be amazing... and perfect...

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Favorites...
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Favorite place to shop:
lets see... spencers hot topic... thrift stores... walmart... any place really as long as I can find something I like?

Favorite kind of pants:
my courderoys?

Color:
White even if it isn't a color

Number(s):
13

Animal:
white tiger

Drink:
Non-alc = diet pepsi, water, juice.
Alc = vodka

Sport:
To play = bowling, swimming.
To watch = swimming, soccer, bowling...

fast food:
wendy's (ceasar side salad) or mcdonalds (fries)

Month:
july and december

Movie:
Chronicles of Narnia, Donnie Darko, Cry baby, Willy Wonka( the old one), Princess Bride, benny and joon... many many more...

Juice:
Grape Cranberry

Breakfast:
maple and brown sugar oatmeal... or a crissont.

Favorite cartoon character(s):
Raven, and some other ones..


--------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever
--------------------------------------------------------------

Given anyone a bath:
my dog...

Bungee jumped:
I wish...

Made yourself throw-up:
no

Gone skinny dipping:
yep

Eaten a hot dog:
surely

Put your tongue on a frozen pole:
yes
Loved someone so much it made you cry?
yeah

Broken a bone:
plenty

Played truth or dare?
yes

Been in a police car:
yep

Been on a plane?
a couple of times
Been in a sauna:
yeah... I like it...

Been in a hot tub:
yeah

Swam in the ocean:
Yes... I don't like the taste of salt water

Fallen asleep in school:
I had mono... wtf do expect?

Ran away?
yes

Broken someone's heart:
maybe?

Cried when someone died:
yeah jason... and grams... and... just no more remembering..

Cried in school:
a few times

Fallen off your chair:
yes

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call?:
no

Saved e-mails:
yeah

Fallen for one of your best friends?:
yep

Made out with JUST a friend?
yeah...

Used someone:
I don't think so?

Been cheated on?:
have to go out with someone for more then a week for that to happen.

----------------------------------------------
What is...
----------------------------------------------------------------

Your good luck charm:
I don't really have one?

Best song you ever heard:
"Lament of A PRetty Baby" by cursive...

Stupidest thing you have ever done?
there have been plenty...

What's your room like:
Purple... light colored... and wood... lots of wood... multiple century furnitur... I dunno.. it's crazy..

Last thing you said:
"you love her."

What is beside you:
a wall

Last thing you ate:
oatmeal

What kind of shampoo do you use?:
suave... orange...

Best thing that has happened to you this year:
hanging out with my friends?

Worst thing that happend to you:
suicidle thoughts and dreams


----------------------------------------
Have you had..
----------------------------------------

Chicken pox:
multiple times

Sore Throat:
always

Stitches:
quite a few

Broken nose:
multiple times


----------------------------------------
Do You
----------------------------------------

Like picnics:
depends

Like school:
only sometimes


--------------------------------
Would you/what is
---------------------------------------

Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000. dollars:
definately not

If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with you?:
I dunno... books... tons and tons of books... and probably... someone who I could discuss stuff with? so probably... trixie... or derek... or michelle... maybe emmy.. but I don't think she'd be happy with that arangement...

Who was the last person you slow danced with:
Trixie...

What makes you laugh the most?:
Todd... he can always get me to smile and laugh...

What makes you smile?
Todd... michelle... trixie... derek...

--------------------------------------
Who is the last person
--------------------------------------

You yelled at:
my mom

Who broke your heart?
human nature

Who told you they loved you?
krissy


------------------------------------------------------------
Do you/Are You:
------------------------------------------------------------

Do you like filling these out:
sometimes

Do you wear glasses or contacts:
yeah... I'm a nerd... I wear glasses...

Do you like yourself:
I love my self... no one else will... so I might as well..

Do you get along with your family?
not useually... but soemtimes yeah

Stolen anything over $50:
worth over fifty? in an accumulative amount in a day.. yeah prolly... I dunno

Obsessive?:
I need something to obsessive over..

Compulsive?:
not really

Anorexic?:
no their breath smells like bile

Suicidal?:
yeah have been... but it's not worth it.. it's selfish


--------------------------------
Love Life
-------------------------------

Do you have a crush?
yeah

If so, do they know?
yes

Have you truly told them how you feel, face to face?
sorta? the wallet thing...

How did they respond?:
smile?

What is so great about them?:
perfection in the eyes of me...

Are you in love?
shrug


--------------------------------------
This or That?
--------------------------------------

Skiing or Boarding.
boarding is fun and skiing is fun but I like blading...

fall or winter:
Fall

Silver or Gold:
silver

Diamonds or pearls:
pearls

Sunset or Sunrise:
sunrise without sleeping

Sprite or 7up?:
seven up is a verry fun game

Orange juice or apple juice:
orange no pulp

Cat or dog:
cat

Coffee or tea:
tea

Phone or in person:
in person?


Are you oldest, middle, youngest or only child
youngest

Indoor or outdoor:
both

--------------------------------------------------
Final questions
-----------------------------------------------------------

How many people are you sending this to: .
cero

What are you listening to right now?:
Autumns song- from autumn to ashes

What did you do yesterday:
slept


Where do you want to get married?
some place with a lot of history... maybe some decaying stone?

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
my flightyness...

Are you a good driver?
not really..

Are you a good Singer:
not really

What do you dream about:
falling

End Time:
2:24 pm
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anamnesis [Dec. 9th, 2005|08:07 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
sometimes
days like these
the darkness still comes back to me
entomb me
make this room for me
there's no room for me
musty choking earth and I can't breathe
must we do this
- - -
i can't see
- - -
days like these
the nightmare still comes back to me
my own breath lingers in my ear
my own transgressions
have brought me here
the warmth of fear and sweat
this would be death
this could be my death
sacrificed to make a point
and even in living I lost this part of me
the heart of me
in this darkness that still comes back to me
sometimes . . .

on days like these.
linkpost comment

She Dreams [Dec. 9th, 2005|08:06 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
she thinks she dreams in color now
and she wonders when it rains
where the smoke gets away to
on burnt out autumn days
cold-weather coats
and someone else's chill
she never could get warm
-she never will-
vacation destinations
she can't forget the trees
she thinks she always screams

- - -
rocks come here to turn this amazing shade
dull grey to deep space
blue
you are here to change
she thinks she always knew
- - -

we should take the high road
before this day disappears
we could find our own way
before we disappear
cause the sun won't set till everything is right
she pretends she doesn't know
it's just a slipshod way of holding off the night

and she thinks dirt paths
will always lead to somewhere
but the world is grinding by
and they've all closed their eyes
they never see the snake that hisses
at their mission-minded feet

and she thinks she dreams
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(no subject) [Aug. 16th, 2005|10:53 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
I have no parents; I make the Heavens and the Earth my parents.
I have no home; I make the Tan T'ien my home.
I have no divine power; I make honesty my Divine Power.
I have no means; I make Docility my means.
I have no magic power; I make personality my Magic Power.
I have neither life nor death; I make A Um my Life and Death.


I have no body; I make Stoicism my Body.
I have no eyes; I make The Flash of Lightning my eyes.
I have no ears; I make Sensibility my Ears.
I have no limbs; I make Promptitude my Limbs.
I have no laws; I make Self-Protection my Laws.


I have no strategy; I make the Right to Kill and the Right to Restore Life my Strategy.
I have no designs; I make Seizing the Opportunity by the Forelock my Designs.
I have no miracles; I make Righteous Laws my Miracle.
I have no principles; I make Adaptability to all circumstances my Principle.
I have no tactics; I make Emptiness and Fullness my Tactics.


I have no talent; I make Ready Wit my Talent.
I have no friends; I make my Mind my Friend.
I have no enemy; I make Incautiousness my Enemy.
I have no armour; I make Benevolence my Armour.
I have no castle; I make Immovable Mind my Castle.
I have no sword; I make No Mind my Sword.
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(no subject) [Aug. 6th, 2005|03:53 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
HOPE

Always alone
When the night has fallen
Watching the heavens
Unable to save the souls
Lost within mortal sight
And the sliver of the moon
A killer, vibrant glow
Always given another reason
To be not good enough
And at the end of the day
I’m still alone
And the bonfire is burning low
Nothing makes much of a difference
Its easer to believe
But my faith has vanished
Forlorn, without an Angel
And the air has left my body
Weightless I stand
Unable to comprehend
The people walking on by


Yet the light keeps on twisting
And I try to escape
Just one more time
Into the glorious life
Of make-believe
Where one can be
Anything
But reality has a funny way
Of always making itself known
Forever searching
For a kind of comfort
The kind that’s never really there
Or here, or anywhere
Lost in the space of ages
Scattered across the world
Hearts no longer beat
By the passing of time
Just the simple thought
Of hope
Something that,
Can never be accepted
Never truly stays
Just a glimpse in the mirror
A fire burning from within
But drowning, from the inside
Slowly sinking deeper
Light keeps on twisting
Misshaped, and collapsed
There's only rubble and nothings left
Faith lost in the forsaken
But yet, you still grasp
Trying to reach the never ending
Never stable, thing called Hope
While the worlds crumbling at your feet.






My Affinity

You are the whisper on my lips
The taste on my tongue
The scent that haunts
After all is gone
I can still feel your touch
Burned deep in my flesh
The thought speeds my heart
It pounds hard in my chest
You have me addicted
To your incense
Your words
I couldn't predict
Finding love
Could occur
When you speak your native tongue
You speak to my soul
It shivers inside
Does your soul wish to leap?
To intertwine with mine?
Your eyes hold the answer
For that I am sure
Come my Dark Angel
Come bring me your cure
For I want neither visions nor charms
I want you here
Here within my arms





When Lights Go Out…

Lying on a bed of comfort
With two I am most fond of
One in darkness conspires
to feed her desires
but I would not fall prey to her cause
for she was the sweetest of them all
but speaking of her dark desire
set us both on fire
So in darkness did we confide
I fought against the flame
until I could no longer
and so I reached to tame her fire
she laughed
and in so, denied it
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SurPrise and MisFortune [Jul. 24th, 2005|09:41 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
SurPrise and MisFortune
A more perfect couple never before was made
Able to woo naïve Innocence and sultry Experience
With butterfly kisses and morose glances
Always unexpected and never welcomed together
The force of their nature unpleasant to taste

A brothel of children at their disposal:
MisChief – the daughter of alarming curiosity
MisGiving - the child of trustful doubt
MisMatch – the "perfect blend"
MisCreate and MisCreant – twins of troubling thought
And MisEry – beloved gift unasked for

Each a generous bestowal on the world
From parents of overbearing certainty
Their mark is a flavor in the night
That lingers in Life's own recesses
Welcome or shun them, but tempt them not
With Hope or even blasphemous MisterE's charm
Or your Lady Luck will leave you for another
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Reflections in Black and White [Jul. 24th, 2005|06:48 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
[Those were days to be remembered.]

When the stars painted in my eyes were but a hollow gold and the feel of a skeletal hand to slender visage was :china/brittle

off-white and antique

and beautiful.

A single Lily, in the hair, an orchid on the wrist
[one for good luck, I suppose]

.Gaudy;beautiful

Rainy nights walked without an umbrella
We were brave souls, not fancy]

Crystal chariots
Came bearing Dahlias

You always smelled the sweetest
But your smell, [your shine] has faded now
Not quite so glitzy/trendy/beautiful

Only paled with age
Seemlingly just a frangrent
Promises of heady aromas
-euphoria through senses hieghtened]

Age has played fair with you, my dear
But have you played fair with life?
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x'd out eyes. [we're drawn so badly] [Jul. 24th, 2005|06:42 pm]
maldyeuthanasia
anxious as always.
tracing my fingers on a frame
of an outdated.intricate-picture - of faces without. names
family history bought and sold. at a shop on the corner
for three quarters. their misery takes it's place
on the border
between depression and obsession- for that which we can not have
no matter how hard we fight.
we're always dying to fall back- into the arms
of a stranger. eyes revealing their past
we wish for their hopes. we die for their anger
fantasized.lies we despise ourselves for shoving a coat hanger
up our own thighs.inside- to abort any tears that we cried
tossing our lives into a manger- our saviour has died
lies.lies.lies.-wordspears to the sky. weep for humanity
we killed Jesus Christ


we are a cervical cancer- to a new birth of life.
spite. trite words- and a spit-fired delight
oilpaintings. and holy water- watching the colors run
night sung- kick the gun. look down the barrel
you're blinded by the sun


pupils scarred- be happy. because happiness won't last for long
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Origami wish [Jul. 17th, 2005|07:00 pm]
maldyeuthanasia

is it wishful thinking
endless dreams
to be drawn by a calling
that pulls across miles
where a soul
opened
to me
and I
as well

there is
water
filling me
ready to be drawn

all of me
unlocked
in the palms of his hands
I've never been so willing to share

how strong am I?
to face the fire
to face the
fear
to wish upon each star
and end up not falling
falling in a hole
from staring at something
out of my reach

even on the darkest day
I think of the words he says
they warm me
flow through me
I feel him
a thread of silk through my fingertips

but here I am
writing another
romanticized plight
because I wonder how much of a fool
I've become

time always tells
unfolding like a crumpled paper on the floor
every twist and fold
ever crevice a new design
whether
we meet in the middle
is all up to the design
trying to make something
beautiful

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The lady of the lake [Jul. 12th, 2005|04:45 pm]
maldyeuthanasia

The lady of the lake
That remains forever in her watery bed
Skin of snowy white and eyes of a stormy sea,
Fiery locks that set even the waters on fire
Many have wished to join with her
Yet died in their attempt
For her beauty brought them down
And it was her beauty that kept them there,
They were so enchanted that they forgot themselves and the very air they breathe.
Heartbroken and lonely she lays in her curse.
That beauty shall remain her forever,
But her lover be brought home in a hearse.

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